Posted in xn--kfs74mzzid01b.com edit by mike on January 8th, 2009
I dont know if this is even a question or not, but here it goes. I have been in a relationship for about a year now, with this person who truely loves me and I think I love that person too. The thing is I did something horrible tonight that I feel so so so so gulity and bad about. I slept with someone else!!! It was one of my ex! I dont know what I should do to alleviate this horrible feeling. I just feel so bad, I dont even love my ex, it just happen, and never never never want to do that again! Please I know most of your advice will be mean, but You guys need to believe how incredibly bad I feel!! has someone been in similar situation if so what was the outcome? If you telll he may leave you.
If you do not tell the guilt will stress you.
See a counselor and let them work with you on why you cheated, and how to tell your current partner. This is hard things will get better. Ask Jesus to help you he will direct your paths.Tell your partner about it. Honesty is the best policy in a relationship and you can only hope (pray) that her/his love towards you is greater than the horrendous error you'd made.Your guilt is a good sign but I think you should tell him what you did. Then he might leave you and you would then feel consequences of your behavior and hopefully learn to not ever do it again.Might as well move on, to a new relationship, you have already destroyed the one you have now. Just put your self in your partner shoes, and ask your self, what would you do if that had happened to you.
The only thing that you have created is a new ex. to hit on in the future.
So just move. To someone new. good luck. You should inform your partner about it.
Honesty and trust is the base of any relation, you have broken one maintain the other and see.
Very tough situation! First if you really do love the person your with you should tell them the truth but be prepared because it's going to totally crush them! You guys may be able to work it out but I've been in a very similar situation and sometimes even if they forgive and try to make things work it always stays in the back of their mind which creates alot of doubt which leads to accusations, arguments, etc
I have done it myself.. Nothing good ever comes out of cheating.. Good luck with moving on. I think the very best thing you can do for yourself is to try and forget it,. YOu know it was a mistake, and you know it won't happen again and there is nothing you can do to "undo" what is already done,. JUst let go, please try to learn from your mistake and go on with your life. In time, things will get better and you will look back on it , as a horrible memory...Good luck, but I know things will be okay.First of all, you don't love your partner as you claim. If you did, you would not have cheated.
Secondly, cheating does not "just happen". It happens as the result of choices made by two consenting adults. So spare me the excuses.
OK, now for the advice. The only thing you can do (and retain some shred of dignity and honour) is to confess. Tell your partner what you did and offer to go to couples counselling together. I don't think this means you don't have feelings for your boyfriend. It does mean that he'd be a fool to try to keep you. This kind of "oops" is very rarely a one time thing. What difference does it make if you sleep with one person you have no real commitment to vs. another person you have no committment to? If you are having sex with someone other than your husband, you're living in no man's land, where there are no rules beyond what you made up in your own head. What you did tonight isn't any different than any other night.Firstly ITS TOTAL BULLSH*T.
You don't "accidentally" sleep with someone else, especially an ex. YOU CHOOSE to put yourself in a position where that could happen. You choose to met with them (behind your boyfriend's back?). You choose to be in a situation where you have the privacy to sleep together, to go to their place or a hotel room. And then you choose to go ahead and do it. So until you are prepared to take FULL responsibility for you CHOICES, then you shouldn't be asking for any sympathy here. Even if you claim that you were drinking you chose that behavior too, knowing that it would lower your defenses, perhaps top give you an excuse to do what you wanted to anyway.
The only HONEST thing you can do now is go to your boyfriend, explain what you did (without using the excuses) and hope he is a lot more forgiving than you'd be in the same situation. Then leave it up to him to decide what happens from here. that's the only way to get rid of that horrible feeling that you have cheated on him.Are you expecting validation and sympathy for your stupid actions ?
If you were in love with your boyfriend - out of respect for him, you would not have slept with someone else. I have no idea what the outcome will be, but my suggestion is to keep this news to yourself and vow never to have it happen again. Don't hurt the person whom you profess to love.I am sorry - no sympathy for stupiditykarma will get you for that one.so all i can say is if you don't tell your bf,hope some one else doesn't let him know.you will never get over the guilt feeling for it.why do you need to tell us how incredibly bad u feel, tell ur partner, honesty=best policy......good luck. Do not tell a soul. make sure no one knows. Never see your ex again, ever ever ever. Today is a new day. Be the best woman you can be for the man you love. Every time you feel bad, just treat your man right even more. The whole thing will go away eventually. Just love your man and be a good person from now on.
Answer mine, k?
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