Should I cut my ex out of my life?
Posted in xn--kfs74mzzid01b.com edit by anonym on January 9th, 2009
After a while she didn't come to Holland anymore because she had kids and it was difficult for her. So I started flying to Greece every 6 weeks which is something she felt really strongly about. She adored me and wanted my company. After some time her oldest kid got a psychosis and we went through rough times. We also had problems with her ex not butting out of her life. She had a mortgage on her property for a boat that her ex owned; they had a tourist boat business together before the divorce. And then there was money problems because she didn't hold on to a job and I had to pay a lot of stuff for her. In octobre of 2007 I proposed to her in Paris and she said yes. So we were engaged. Last christmas we invited her ex to come to a christmas party and her ex was so moved that he decided to give the boat to my girlfriend. I got a loan of 12.000 euro for her to fix that boat up. Then we went to the States (she's American -Greek) where she introduced me to her parents and her family so it was very serious. Because of my work I travel a lot so she was alone for most of the summer. I was with her in the beginning of July though and then she had brought in a captain from Holland, my country. She asked me to make him feel at home. I did. When I came home from my travels she says she's messed up because the boat didn't make any money. In a chat line she informs me that she breaks up with me and that she has feelings for the Dutch captain. Later she tells me she had sex with him after she broke up with me. I can tell she's very sorry about what she did, but now she's considering selling him half of the boat in order to make the downpayments on the boat. I can tell that she might take me back, but I told her I can not consider doing this if she will keep that Dutch man in her life. She says its only business but at the same time she says she has feelings for him and him for her. She also says that the Dutch guy might bail on her, and that he wouldn't have stuck by her like I did. So i'm stuck with a loan, and she 's gonna have a boat now with this guy that she can't trust completely chosing the boat over me. She keeps saying how sorry she is but still keeps talking about her weird messed up relationship with this Dutch guy. I keep telling her I can't talk about it but she says she's alone and doesn't have anybody to talk about.
My dilemma is: should I be her friend? Should I take her back if she even wants to? Should I cut her out of my life? Did she take advantage of me? This woman I was engaged to and loved for three years and broke up with me in a chat line.
You are young and she is old. FIRST mismatch.
Second is you are innocent and she is exploiting you.
Third, she always needs some one to fall on. Richer is better for her and she has no commitment to the life.
Fourth, She already have kids with issues (one kid with psychosis) which may be a long term disturbance.
Fifth, She still allows her Ex in her life
Sixth, she has no morality, both sexually and financially. The way she has relations with the new guy (captain).
Seventh, She has always dumped her feeling to you and never comforted you
Eighth, She has never stood on her words and commitments. She has unstable mind. Your chat and personal experiences.
Ninth, This issue is beyond national boundaries. Even if you are married, you have hard time with settling in a place (Connections to US, Greek, Dutch...). even if you settle down and later if you have problems, which court of law will you consider for a good settlement?
Tenth, Even before marriage, you have liabilities (12k Euros). What if this same trend continues even after marriage?
Eleventh, She is using you to hide her own mistakes. I mean she is using your place to keep her boy friend (!!??!!) and she is fooling around.
Twelfth, you are going to work for a family (her and kids) for rest of your life with many issues around.
Thirteenth, If she is choosing you as life partner and she wants to depend on you financially, she should have shifted to your place and not you visiting her place. This is fishy. For some reasons (!!!) she wants to stay at her place and also she wants you for her comforts.
At last.... Just think, why should you loose yourself to a person elder to you and can not keep you in a respectable place.
In general, she has more experience in her life than you and sure she can use you for any thing. Even if all the assumptions of mine are false, why do you want to choose a woman with preloaded commitments? You are just starting your life and you have your own dreams. Choose a good pair to fit to your age, preferences and .... you know more.
Ooopppsss.... I made a real good - big mail.
Do not continue any kind of relationship with her - move on and let go.
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