Is it normal to hate your family? How do you deal with it?
Posted in xn--kfs74mzzid01b.com edit by jack on January 7th, 2009
Here's the rundown: Please tell me if I'm bonkers:
Mom: spent our childhood ignoring us. Never once interfered with a beating from my father. Never allowed me to go on school trips, never once attended a school play, stood me up on my gr.8 graduation. Divorced my dad when I was 12 and spent 10 years slashing her wrists, & anorexic, telling me how much she hated me, how fat & stupid I was, and living in mental institutions. Now, she's stopped with the slashing, and has turned into a three year old, immature, silly, foolish, and in complete denial of everything - popping codeine like candy. Afraid to leave her house. Never admitted a mistake to any of us. Treats my children well because she feels guilty.
Stepdad: Perverted lowbrow jackass. When the breakup occurred, and I was dumped on his/my mom's doorstep, he made his life's mission to make me feel terrible. I was fat, ugly, stupid, filthy, and worthless. He teased me about everything from my pimples to having my period. Made innappropriate comments to me. Would shake me out of bed in the middle of the night when I was 13 to referee arguements with my mom, or tell me to go rescue her because she was trying to "kill herself". Acts like a complete idiot in public, and embarrases everyone with dirty jokes - regardless of whether children are present. Kicked me out at 14 despite the fact that i was a very good girl with good grades. Treats my children quite well out of guilt, has not a penny to his name and thinks he & mom will live with me someday.
Dad - Beat the crap out of us. Told us lurid and graphic stories about what "strangers do to little girls" and terrified us as kids. Allowed us to watch very violent/dirty movies. Told us filthy jokes as young children. Threatened to kill us all in the car when my mom left. Pretended he was a WWF wrestler when assaulting my older sister. Wore gloves to avoid germs, put pills in people's food, and was convinced the police were after him. Has become a shut in hermit, who spends his days gambling. Has never aplogized or given us a thing.
Sister: Severe histrionic and also a sociopath. Spends every moment in my presence since childhood bullying me, picking on me, faulting my every move, and acting like a total twit in general. Defrauded my credit when I turned of age. Disparages me in front of my children. Last night, on her first visit in 3 years, she got drunk and announced to a total stranger we were sitting with that my boyfriend was "no good" in this really venemous tone she uses....spent the next 20 minutes according to this man, telling him my life story (well her version) and claiming to love me and wanting me to be protected. He thought she was a total *** lunatic. Which she is. Think Scarlett Ohara crossed with Angelina Jolie in girl interrupted, with a lot more swearing, drinking and hatred. She abused her son so bad he is 20 and has refused to speak to her in 3 years. She says it's all his fault for being so rotten. Her pattern is to marry old/ugly & rich, then move on. She says she is proud of this.
Me: Single mother, 2 girls. Children love me to pieces. I work all day and spend all my time with them & my bf of 8 years. Have wrestled with depression (duh) and poverty (duh) and self esteem issues (duh). Put myself through school and made a stable life/career, sans help. I have never laid a hand on my children, and have NEVER said a bad word of my daughters. At family functions, my "family" makes a game out of ganging up on me and teasing me about how 'stupid' I am in front of my children. I always have to explain to my kids when we leave about "inappropriate behaviour".
When I have to visit my family, I get hysterical and cry for hours afterward. I only get this way when I visit them.
they do not automatically warrant your love just cos they had u. if people treat u like s**t, even if its parents, they arent worth your time
why do people have kids when they ignore or abuse them???
u are better than that, and least u realise that now and well done for makin somethin of yourself
try not to let your family get to you although i know its hard, just try to distance yourself emotionally. they know wot buttons to push with u, dont let them, that will f**k them up
we cant choose our parents, but we can choose our partners - and that is where love can lie for you, or thru your kids u dont need ur parents
how yuu feel is how yuu feel.
if yuu were to get over it yuu will in time. it's perfectly okay to me.
goodluck :]
You have to forgive them so you can move on with your life and not feel like this.
It is too much baggage to carry around all the time. You need to live in peace.
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